don’t make me snap my fingers in a z formation
hip rotation
booty sensation
ＥＴＥＲＮＡＬ ＤＡＭＮＡＴＩ
Do you know who the most badass elf is in the entirety of the Tolkien’s legendarium? No, not Maedhros. Or Finrod or Glorfindel or whatever your choice was. No, it’s Rog of the Hammer of Wrath. Let Tolkien Gateway break it down for you:
Rog was a blacksmith, and chief of the…
in the universes where Eol remains in Gondolin, both willingly and non, he has a terrible crush on Rog.
I don’t even.
Eol had always preferred being alone in his forge.
In fact, he got downright volatile about it.
That was rather nicely explained by the long jet of flame he was breathing on the piece of metalwork he had been altering, white-hot.
Mablung found he was frozen to the spot.
I should leave.
I should leave and forget I ever saw this.
The warden slowly swallowed. Eol watched him from the corner of one slitted black eye as his closed his mouth, cutting off the brief blast of flame.
He chuckled and smoke leaked from his teeth. His very pointed teeth.
“Well,” He said, turning fluidly. Mablung could almost imagine a long tail lashing out behind him. “We have a bit of a problem now, don’t we?”
Mablung slowly backed up and cursed his luck.
Damn short straws.
—
…dragon Eol?
Sure, why not. I’ve got dwarf-soul Eol, brother to Feanor Eol, child of Thuringwethil Eol, maia-who-helped-carve-the-dwarves Eol, I suppose Dragon!Eol was destined to join the lineup sooner or later.
Imagine your favorite character barging into your room this moment, grabbing your hand, and taking you with them into their world
Lets be honest though most of…
Oh good lord.
I’d have to sunshade my entire house. And get Link to stop trying to break my pots looking for rupees.
but yo
Feanor was the first of the Eldar to draw a sword against another Elf
and he condemned Valinor to darkness in his stubbornness
and massacred the Falmari
and indirectly killed a large part of the host of Fingolfin
Maedhros gave up the High Kingship
Curufin and Celegorm…
^THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
UNDIR GOD DAMN IT AGREE WITH ME
YES I KNOW YOU’RE THE ELF THAT INVENTED THE Z SNAP
BUT RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO GET YOU TO MORNOST OKAY
SO COULD YOU PLEASE
GAH
subvertcliche asked: wow i feel the same way about Colin lol. I don't dislike Green's other protagonists, though.
It really isn’t so fair to feel that way about him- emotional pain isn’t impeded by things like scholarships and how much money one does or does not have- but he is literally mourning the loss of a girl he knew for a year at a personal pivotal moment in his life. Screw the Katherines, Colin. Time to get on with your world.
I think I’m too much of a cynic to read John Green.
So a copy of An Abundance of Katherines came across my desk today at work and work was slow so I started reading it
and yes the writing is witty and fun and the footnotes are amusing
but
I just can’t
fucking Colin
‘I’m seventeen and my nineteenth girlfriend has broken up with me and I’m a washed up child prodigy and I’m miserable so I’m going to go on a road trip with my best friend’
Okay that’s reasonable, Colin
but I gotta fucking tell you
with a full ride to a school
and some X amount of dollars to your name that would easily pay all my school bills in a heartbeat
it is really
REALLY
fucking hard for me to work up some empathy for you.
I’m gonna keep reading because it is enjoyable to read and I’d like to know what happens but in the end I don’t know what I’ll get out of it because all I can think is “you whiny little punk what the fuck are you complaining about oh your girlfriend dumped you well I’m lucky I haven’t broken a leg because if I did I’d be fucked so you shut up.”
Which isn’t fair to Colin, because it minimizes his real (well, real insofar as the presentation of a washed up prodigy with money is real) and present emotional pains, pains which he as a human being has a right to.
I think I’ve gotten too old and too classist and too bitter to be reading books like this.
